1. |
Song of Healing, I
04:50
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I wanted nothing
Silence to allow me to drown myself in a fantasy
Solace in the loopings of the carpet and their privacy
This - absurdly satisfying - leading me to misery
Shrinking in fear thinking of the knock at the door I will hear
I wanted nothing
But lucky me, lucky me, lucky me
I got everything
(Everything means everything)
But I wanted nothing
All I wanted were the stars while sleeping on the trampoline
Leave me with the bluebells in the shadows of the rising spring
Rain of any season - keep me hidden in the evergreens
Wanted nothing but the world as it was to envelope me
But lucky me, lucky me, lucky me
I got everything
(Everything means everything)
Everything means everything
I’ll never tell a soul all the things that I’ve seen
Walk into my room, walk into
my heart rate rising - crying, trying to cut out my eyes
Sit and stare just sit there
Clothes off - my space
But keep them close just in case
You don’t want to know everything -
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2. |
It's Nice
02:56
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It's nice to see
I don't have to self-destruct
When I'm with you
I get confused
Is this joy mine?
But then again, when will I self-destruct again?
When will I find a way - a reason - to just fucking leave?
When I sleep and in my dreams I can't connect to myself
When I go to work and nothing that I say is myself
When I drink til I can't even remember myself
And the evening sends my spiraling against myself
When I touch myself and I can't even feel myself
When I stare at the screen to try to forget myself
When I lay in bed til I don't want to live as myself
When I'm honest I'm still running away from myself
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3. |
Owe You Nothing
04:11
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I wish I could know you even though I'm never going to
I don't want to see you, and I won't change my attitude
It's not a real option - have you ever even been around?
I wish I could say, "How are you?" Such a simple thing.
But that's not me - I don't owe you anything
Yeah, I know I no longer need to be afraid
But I keep looking over my shoulder
No this ain't about a lover
But if you relate to that more, then sure
When I think about you I mostly feel pity
I wish I could say, "How are you?" Such a simple thing.
But that's not me - I don't owe you anything
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4. |
Options
03:35
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What I am, what's been done to me
I'll repeat for eternity
shining through every cell of me
taking all of my energy
little weeds growing underneath
roots too deep to ever really see
sprouting leaves that I keep shredding
digging now, later refilling
find a piece, try to make it clean -
It's a waste of my energy, repeating for eternity
It's a waste I'll repeat
Here - let's talk about solutions:
never think that thought again; walk around in the arboretum;
wake up with the birds or
just stay up waiting for them
Here - let's talk about solutions:
walk into the water and then...just have a nice swim
I'm just laying out the options
Thinking of taking it all in.
Here - let's talk about solutions:
get a nice sharp razor blade and then...just have a nice shave
I'm just laying out my thoughts
Trying to get them to behave
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5. |
Everyone I've Loved
03:32
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Get on, get on
You can't keep everyone
going around giving love
going around with nothing on
Get on, get on
You can't please everyone
living life like a grave that says,
"Yeah, they were great"
Everyone you loved becoming one
The water's warm beneath the storm
It all crumbles apart - the earth breaks into dark
Horror surrounds - frantic pulse and frantic pound
Hold on, hold on
You can't leave everyone
Separated by a thin membrane
of blue light surrounding skin
Well I guess I'm awake
to a bright new shining day
I guess I'm supposed to
just stand up and take a joke
But who is the dreamer? Is it me
Was that anything
It all slips away
like another yesterday
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6. |
Song of Healing, II
01:47
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Suffocated by the fly upon the cabinet
There's so much to feel - I shut out some of it
And if there's healing in the world
you are my part of it
When we're surrounded by mountains
and open skies, the smell and the sound
of the sea retreating, reaching all the way back
from tomorrow: here I lay myself
where we bask, I'm immersed
Take me at my invitation:
pull at my teeth, fuck relief,
make me free
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